Sunday Bee- busy bee

Happy Sunday to you!

bee on lobelia cardinalis

I’ve been a busy bee today, though not out in my garden, since for days now I’ve been doing re-writes/ edits to two of my earlier novels, my intention being to publish them as new versions. I've blogged already about needing to change things when something isn't working, but the realities are quite a salutory lesson.

What seemed like a quick task – isn’t. Not one to do things in a rush, with the possibility of making a complete ****of it, I’ve been methodically returning my story to what was originally a mystery with a touch of romance to suit the plot. Back in 2010, when I was seeking a publisher what seemed to be selling were 'heavy on the breathing' romances. Accordingly, before submitting to a romance publisher, I made many additions to my original completed manuscript. It was accepted by the publisher but I had to make a number of further additions before it was published. 

I'm now paring down to that original basic mystery story with a touch of romance.

Whilst bee-vering away (excuse the pun?) the weather outside has actually been quite nice, though the skies have still been mostly grey. I have stopped to smell the flowers and breathe in the fresh air occasionally and these photographs are the result.

bee on azelea

I’m sad that evidence of wasps is out there, but in contrast I’m delighted with the bee activity. I still seem to have plenty of plantings which encourage them to visit my garden.

I’m off to do another last sweep over my new extremely less sensual version of Monogamy Twist but leave you with some bee food to admire.

weigela almost flowering

But ...before that, here's an example of my bee-vering away and stripping (and isn't that appropriate) down of my novel - which, if I'm honest, wasn't selling as a sensual story but will hopefully do better as a regular mystery :-).

New version:

From his third level vantage point, the young woman recaptured his attention as she ploughed across the overgrown lawn grass. Her husky voice was firm.

“You went off again too quickly, you disobedient pup.”

Pup? The beast was enormous. His focus zoomed in on the woman as she capered back from the animal’s attentions. Her lava black hair settled around her face as she came to a gradual halt and gathered the squirming beast close to her. The dog’s tongue lapped out to lick her face, revealing the ungainly quivering of body hair as the long forelegs stretched up onto her shoulders. He watched her almost overbalance under the onslaught of adoration from the dog. She was a tiny little woman, and Thor was one very big canine.

“Get down, Thor!”

The melodious chime of her laughter imprinted itself somewhere inside him as she thrust the hound down to ground level.

“You’re not a little pup any more.”

Thor? A good name for a powerful beast, he thought, watching her rub the dog’s underside. Scratching below his own belly, he adjusted his stance at the window. His imagination surged, the heat of the sun blasting in the window.

“Who are you?” His question misted the filthy pane, the little pixie below making quite an impact. “A woodland fairy?” Well, she had materialized out of the woods and he presently felt he was in some nightmarish fairy tale. His harsh laugh echoed around him in the empty room. Was his fatigue so bad he was hallucinating? An ironic burst peeled out again, loud enough to make the dog’s ears perk up.

Warf. Warf.

 There was no quiet barking from this particular canine, its exuberance boisterous and excited as it capered way down below the window.

“Come on. Time to go, Thor.”

Who was the woman? He watched as she ushered the animal back to the woods. What was she doing in the grounds of Greywood Hall, seemingly so familiar? Realising he wanted answers to those questions, Luke erupted into the corridor taking the treads on the internal central staircase two at a time, trusting they’d not collapse under his pounding feet as he hurried outside.

There was no sign of her as he scanned the gardens.

 

blossom

Sensual version: 

From his third-level vantage point the young woman again snagged his attention as she plowed across the overgrown lawn grass, an even more welcome distraction than the dog. Definitely worth watching. Her husky voice was firm.

   “You went off again far too quickly, you disobedient pup.”

    Pup? The beast was enormous. Luke’s focus zoomed in on the woman’s supple breasts as they bounced in rhythm inside a tight yellow T-shirt as she capered back from the animal’s attentions. Very, very nice. His palms itched and curved by his sides, his eyes appreciative. Her glistening lava-black hair settled around her face as she halted and gathered the squirming beast to her. The dog’s tongue licked her face revealing the ungainly quivering of body hair as the hugely long forelegs stretched up onto her shoulders. Luke imagined his own tongue snaking across her lips as she almost overbalanced under the onslaught of adoration from the dog. She was a tiny little woman and Thor was one very big canine.

   “Get down, Thor!” The melodious chime of her laughter imprinted itself somewhere inside him as she thrust the hound down to ground level. “You’re not a little pup any more.”

   Thor? A good name for a powerful beast Luke thought, watching her rub the dog’s underside. Unconsciously scratching his own belly he adjusted his stance at the window, the denim of his jeans a little too tight now as he enjoyed her pert backside. Perfect for his hands to cradle. His imagination surged. The heat of the sun blasting through the window was more than a match for his spiking internal temperature.

   “Who are you, a woodland fairy?” Luke’s question misted the filthy pane. Dio! The little pixie below made quite an impact on him. She had appeared suddenly out of the woods. His harsh laugh echoed around him in the empty room. Was his fatigue so bad he was hallucinating? An ironic burst peeled out again, loud enough to perk up the dog’s ears but not loud enough to betray his location. Cristo! He really did need a woman.

Warf! Warf! No quiet barking from this particular canine.

   “Come on. Time to go, Thor.”

   Who was the woman? She ushered the animal back to the woods. What was she doing on the grounds of Greywood Hall?

   Realizing he wanted answers to those questions, Luke erupted into the corridor taking the treads on the central staircase two at a time, trusting they’d not collapse under his pounding feet as he hurried outside.

Slainthe!